Honesty Is hard...

Honesty is hard. Mostly it's hard because not everyone is trust worthy. Not everyone we open ourselves up to will be understanding, non-judgemental, helpful, kind, or loving. What's the most difficult part of your life, right now? How many people really know the depth of that situation? The struggles? The fear? The anxiety? One of the hardest things I have ever dealt with only about 7 people in my life know the full depth of. I really struggled with it for a while, it broke me. Which in turn wasn't making the situation any better. The more it hurt, the harder I struggled with it. Till one day I opened up and told someone. Now I will admit, my choice while trustworthy wasn't my best choice for my emotional state at the time. I quickly realized that and within days let someone else in on the situation. Someone I knew would keep me grounded. With each person I chose to open up to I found something really important, support. Sometimes the things that are the hardest in our lives are hard because we feel like other people don't struggle in those areas. They won't understand. So we're left sitting in the dark, alone, broken. The truth is they don't have to have the same struggles to  empathize. I have found that with each person I have carefully chosen to share with I have found love, prayers, support, wisdom and much much more. Not to change the situation, but to help make the burden lighter. Mostly to keep me focused on God through it all. I don't write this at a point where that struggle is solved and gone. It is still very much alive and some days very difficult. I am working on daily trying to let God show me where I need to focus. What do I need to work on today? What is he trying to teach me through this? It's not that I am eternally optimistic. There's a real chance in the end it won't be ok, but no matter what, I know God "works all things together for the good of those who love him."(Romans 8:28)  As I am learning to let go and leave it in God's hands I am finding that the more I do the better it all seems. Whether that's God truly improving things or just a perspective shift on my part is not obvious. What I can say is I have hope. I have faith in God. I have support of brothers and sisters in Christ. Not everyone would understand, but in finding a few trusted folks to open up and be real and vulnerable with God is removing the burden. This is fellowship. This is what God has truly called us to as the Church.