Musings of a Muddled Mess

Lately I have been struggling with the difference between "I am not comfortable with that" and "God's not telling me to do that." God's not going to let me sit in my little fear driven world and never learn something new, do something difficult, go outside what I am comfortable with. I know that. It's called growth. Try new things, you learn something new everyday. These are cliche' thoughts for a reason, yet somehow when it comes to faith we forget these things or act like they don't apply. And by we, I mean me. As you know the last few months have been a time of serious growth and change for me. Yes, growth. Which means I have been asked to do some things way out of my comfort zone. This blog is one of them. I sat down one day and just wrote and wrote trying to figure out what God was telling me. It felt like I was rambling but it just needed to come out so I could figure it out. After showing it to my now infamous friend, he wouldn't let ...

Today marks a significant moment in our marriage, 10 years. 10 years ago 2 young kids, who frankly had little idea what they were getting into; promised to love, honor and cherish each other for the rest of their lives. We had lots of folks give us advice about marriage before hand. Some discussed the importance of keeping God central in our marriage others talked to us about stealing the covers and fights over squeezing the toothpaste tube, but I don't know that anyone got in our faces real about what the next 10 years would be like. They would be fun; the last year of college as newly weds,  playing with our sweet babies, those ridiculous moments that only come from having spent a decade knowing what makes another person laugh. They would be joyful;  the celebrations with friends in weddings and births, the anticipation of each of our 5 pregnancies. They would be heartbreaking; the miscarriage of our first child, loss of grandparents, loss of trust situations. They would be ...

I have a handful of truly important memories from early childhood that revolve around church. It's in the couple who we could sit with at church that were just as strict on us as our own parents about behavior but loved on us. It's in the pastor's grown daughters. One who was incredibly joyful and wore the brightest red dress shoes; who embodied being who God made you to be no matter what. The other who gathered a group of elementary aged girls and taught us how to serve others first hand. Ultimately her story of finding a personal relationship with Christ is wrapped up in mine. There was an older couple who paired with their daughter to lead a VBS group of lower elementary kids. While they were always very proper, they knew how to show love and kindness to a group of rowdy kids. It's "Miss Ann" who taught preschool and elementary choir, and taught us what respect looked like by giving it to us even though we didn't earn or deserve it. The pastor who alwa...